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MEN FIGHT BACK
You know all those lists showing how Women are better than Men? Well, the time has come to Men to Fight Back with their own list. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you. __________ Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink. __________ How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There's a clock on the stove. __________ If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog... he shuts up after you let him in. __________ All wives are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart. __________ I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. __________ I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months, I don't like to interrupt her. __________ What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced. __________ Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%... Wedding cake. __________ The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust." __________ In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested! __________ My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state troopers and a dog. __________ Why do men die before their wives? They want to. __________ What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks. __________ Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law. __________ Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son. __________ A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." __________ The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. __________ First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." __________ How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free. __________ Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. __________ If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. __________ Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late." __________ A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
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