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Church Bloopers

The Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who
are not afflicted with any church.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10.  All ladies are
invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the BS. Is done.

Evening Massage - 6 PM.  The pastor would appreciate if the ladies of
the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for pancake
breakfast next Sunday morning.

The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

Low Self' Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.
Please use the back door.

Ushers will eat latecomers.

The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing,
"Break Forth into Joy."

A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.

Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing service will be discontinued
until further notice.

Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church
basement noon Friday at 7PM.  The congregation is invited to attend this

The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success.  Special thanks
are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the
piano, which as usual fell upon her.

Twenty-two members were present at the church meeting held at the home of
Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening.  Mrs. Crutchfield and  Mrs. Rankin
sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.

Don't let worry kill you.  Let the Church help.

Thursday night-Potluck Supper.  Prayer and medication to follow.

The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan
Belzer, the sin of Rev and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the
church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Tuesday at 4 PM there will be an ice cream social.
All ladies giving milk will please come early.

Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet.  Mrs. Jones will sing
"Put Me In My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor.

Thursday at 5 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club.
All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his private

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an
egg on the altar.

The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will
start (quietly) and the rest of the congregation will join in.

Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new
carpet.  All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward
and get a piece of paper.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be
seen in the church basement Friday.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?"
Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use
large double door at the side entrance.

The 1996 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.  Pastor is on
vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new
members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.

The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to
join the choir.

Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are preparing for
the girth of their first child.

The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans,
bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.

     and last but not least...............

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last
Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

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