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New Bicycle

Little Johnny went to his mother demanding a new bicycle.  

His mother decided that he should take a look at himself and the way he

She said, "Well Johnny, it isn't Christmas and we don't have the money to
just go out and buy you anything you want.  So why don't you write a
letter to Jesus and pray for one instead."

After his temper tantrum his mother sent him to his room.  He finally sat
down to write a letter to Jesus.

Dear Jesus, I've been a good boy this year and would appreciate a new
Your Friend, Johnny 

Now Johnny knew that Jesus really knew what kind of boy he was (a rat), so
he ripped up the letter and decided to give it another try.

Dear Jesus, I've been an OK boy this year and I want a new bicycle.
Yours truly, Johnny 

Well, Johnny knew this wasn't totally honest so he tore it up and tried

Dear Jesus, I've thought about being a good boy this year and can I have a

Well Johnny looked deep down in his heart, which by the way was what his
mother really wanted.  He knew he had been terrible and was  deserving of
almost nothing.  He crumpled up the letter, threw it in the trash can and
went running out of the house.  

He aimlessly wandered about depressed because of the way he treated his
parents and really considered his actions.

He finally found himself in front of a Catholic church.  Johnny went
inside and knelt down, looking around, not knowing what he should really

Johnny finally got up and began to walk out the door and was looking at
all the statues.  All of a sudden he grabbed a statue of the Virgin Mary
and ran out the door.  

He went home, hid the statue under his bed and wrote this letter:

Jesus, I've got your mama.  If you ever want to see her again, give me a

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