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QUESTIONS ASKED OF THE SYDNEY OLYMPIC COMMITTEE
Here are some of the classic questions being asked of the Sydney Olympic Committee via their Web site, and some answers that may be appropriate: Q: I hear that all Australian women are beautiful. Is that true an if so, can you send me pictures of the available ones? (Italy) A: (Sure, there's only 8 million of them) Q: I want to go swimming at Bondi Beach on October 20th. Will I turn blue? (Germany) A: (More likely brown, considering the effluent...) Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA) A: (Depends on how much beer you've consumed...) Q: I plan to take some day trips during the Olympics. Which direction should I drive - Perth to Darwin or Darwin to Perth - to avoid driving with the sun in my eyes? (Germany) A: (Excellent question, considering that the Olympics are being held in Sydney.) Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney for the Olympics - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden) A: (Sure, it's only seven thousand miles, so you'll need to have started about a year and a half ago to get there in time for the Games...) Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden) A: (And accomplish what?) Q: Are there any ATMs in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK) A: (No, and we use shells for money too) Q: Where can I learn underwater welding in Australia? (Portugal) A: (???) Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK) A: (Why bother? Use your fingers like the rest of us...) Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France) A: (No. Everybody stinks.) Q: Do tents exist in Australia? (Germany) A: (Yes, but only in sporting goods stores, peoples' garages, and most national parks...) Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France) A: (Yes. At Christmas.) Q: Can I drive to the Great Barrier Reef? (Germany) A: (Sure, if your vehicle is amphibious.) Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany) A: (Not yet, but we'll see what we can do when you get here.) Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA) A: (What's this guy smoking, and where do I get some?) Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany) A: (A blonde?) Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA) A: (Face North and you should be about right) Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA) A: (Another blonde?) Q: Are there places in Australia where you can make love outdoors? Italy) A: (Yes. Outdoors.)
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