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WHAT HALLMARK DOESN'T PRINT

1. So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day. Look at the
   bright side, it's really good pay.

2. My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. When I looked at the
   tire, I noticed your cat. Sorry!

3. You had your bladder removed and you're on the mend. Here's a
   bouquet of flowers and a box of Depends.

4. You've announced that you're gay, won't that be a laugh, when they
   find out you're one of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

5. Happy Vasectomy! Hope you feel zippy! Cause when I had mine I got
   real snippy.

6. Heard your wife left you, how upset you must be. But don't fret
   about it, she moved in with me.

7. You totaled your car and can't remember why. Could it have been,
   that whole case of Bud Dry?
  

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