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SIGNS OF THE TIMES

Sign over a gynecologist's office:
   "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

On a Plumbers truck:
   "We repair what your husband fixed."

On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania:
   "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

Pizza shop slogan:
   "7 days without pizza makes one weak."

At a tire shop in Milwaukee:
   "Invite us to your next blowout."

Door of a plastic surgeon's office:
   "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

At a laundry shop:
   "How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close
   the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?"

At a towing company:
   "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

On an electrician's truck:
   "Let us remove your shorts."

In a nonsmoking area:
   "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate
   action."

On a maternity room door:
   "Push. Push. Push."

At an optometrist's office:
   "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right
   place."

On a taxidermist's window:
   "We really know our stuff."

In a podiatrist's office:
   "Time wounds all heels."

On a fence:
   "Salesmen welcome!   Dog food is expensive."

At a car dealership:
   "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

Outside a muffler shop:
   "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

In a veterinarian's waiting room:
   "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

At the electric company:
   "We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you
   don't, you will be."
  

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