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TO ALL THE DRUNK WOMEN, YOU KNOW IT'S TIME TO GO HOME WHEN ...

You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are.

You've just had to get someone to help you pull your pants up in the ladies
room.

You've been flashing your boobs at passers by.

You mistake a police car for a cab and shout obscenities when it doesn't
stop for you.

You drop your 3:00 a.m. burger on the floor, pick it up and carry on
eating.

You start crying.

There are less than three hours before you're due to start work.

You've found a deeper side to the office nerd.

The man you're flirting with used to be your 5th grade teacher.

The urge to take all your clothes off, stand on a table and sing
"Hopelessly Devoted To You" becomes strangely overwhelming.

You've forgotten where you live.

You've started to sound like Jessie Ventura from the 60 cigarettes you've
smoked.

You can't taste the gin in your gin and tonic

You think you're in bed but your pillow feels strangely like pizza.

You start every conversation with, "Don't take this the wrong way but..."

You fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when you sit on it.

You challenge the bouncer to an arm wrestling competition

You're sitting on the floor. On your own.

You show your friends that girls can pee standing up if they really want
to.

You decide to audition for 'StarSearch' via the security cameras.
  

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