TEN WORDS THAT DON'T EXIST BUT SHOULD
1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability
the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.
2. CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when
of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over
and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum
one more chance.
3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of confection
you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove'
all the germs.
4. ELBONICS (el bon'iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering
armrest in a movie theater.
5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to
be swept onto the dust
pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give
up and sweep it under the rug.
6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling
here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.
7. PEPPIER (peph ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant
whose sole purpose
seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh ground pepper.
8. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone
number and forgetting
whom you were calling just as they answer.
9. PUPKUS (pup'kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after
a dog presses its
nose to it.
10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting
ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.