THE PODDYS TOP 10 LISTS
THE PODDYS DIRECTORY MAIN INDEX
Signs You've Had Enough Of The 90's
- You try to enter your password on the microwave.
- You haven't played patience with real cards in years.
- You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
- You e-mail your work colleague at the desk next to you to ask "Do you fancy going down the pub ?" and they reply "Yeah, give me 5 minutes".
- You chat several times a day with a stranger from South America, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbour yet this year.
- You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date.
- Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
- You consider The Postal Service painfully slow or call it "snail mail".
- Your idea of being organised is multiple coloured post-it notes.
- You hear most of your jokes via email instead of in person.
- When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
- When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally insert a "9" to get an outside line.
- You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.
- Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
- Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
- You really get excited about a 1.7% pay rise.
- You learn about your redundancy on the 9 o'clock news.
- Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose all your best jokes.
- Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
- Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get long-service awards.
- Board members salaries are higher than all the Third World countries annual budgets combined.
- It's dark when you drive to and from work, even in the summer.
- You know exactly how many days you've got left until you retire.
- Interviewees, despite not having the relevant knowledge or experience, terminate the interview when told of the starting salary.
- You see a good looking, smart person and you know it must be a visitor.
- Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet.
- The work experience person gets a brand-new state-of-the-art laptop with all the features, while you have time to go for lunch while yours powers up.
- Being sick is defined as you can't walk or you're in hospital.
- You're already late on the assignment you just got.
- There's no money in the budget for the five permanent staff your department is short of, but they can afford four full-time management consultants advising your boss's boss on strategy.
- Your boss's favourite lines are: When you've got a few minutes....... ......Could you fit this in...? ........................In your spare time............ I know you're busy but................. I have an opportunity for you...
- Holiday is something you roll over to next year.
- Every week another brown collection envelope comes round because someone you didn't know had started is leaving.
- You wonder who's going to be left to put into your 'leaving' collection.
- Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers".
- The only reason you recognise your kids is because their pictures are on your desk.
- You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.
- You read this entire list, kept nodding and smiling.
- As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your "mates you send jokes to" e-mail group.
- It crosses your mind that your jokes group may have seen this list already, but you can't be bothered to check so you forward it anyway.