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MAN WALKS INTO A BAR

A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, a
small cat jumps up on the stool beside him.  

The bartender comes over, and asks for their order.  

The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich.

What's yours?"

"I'll have a beer too" says the ostrich.  

The cat says "I'll have a half beer, but I'm not paying for it." 

The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be $3.40 please".

The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exact change for payment.

The next day, the man, ostrich and cat come again, and the man says "I'll
have a beer," and the ostrich says "I'll have the same," and the cat says
"I'll have a half glass of beer but I'm not paying for it." 

Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes a routine until, late one evening, the trio enter again.

"The usual?" asks the bartender.  

"Well, it's close to last call, so I'll have a large scotch" says the man.
"Same for me" says the ostrich.  "I'll have a small scotch but I'm not
paying for it" says the cat.  

"That will be $7.20" says the bartender.  

Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on
the bar.

The bartender can't hold back his curiosity any longer.  "Excuse me sir.
How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your
pocket every time?" 

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and
found an old lamp.  

When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.  

My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I just put my
hand in my pocket, and the right amount of money will always be there."

That's brilliant!" says the bartender.  "Most people would wish for a
million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for
as long as you live!" 

"That's right!  Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact
money is always there," says the man.  

The bartender asks "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich and the
cat?"  

The man replies "My second wish was for a chick with long legs and a tight
pussy."


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Sovietski Collection: Treasures from a Bygone Era