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COLLECTION

A local preacher was dissatisfied with the small amount in the collection
plates each Sunday.  Someone suggested to him that perhaps he might be
able to hypnotize the congregation into giving more.

"And just how would I go about doing that?" he asked.

"It is very simple.  First you turn off the air conditioner so that the
auditorium is warmer than usual.  Then you preach in a monotone voice.
Meanwhile, you dangle a watch on a chain and swing it in a slow arc above
the lectern and suggest they put 20 dollars in the collection plate."

So the very next Sunday, the reverend did as suggested, and lo and behold
the plates were full of 20 dollar bills.

Now, the preacher did not want to take advantage of this technique each
and every Sunday.  So therefore, he waited for a couple of weeks and then
tried his mass hypnosis again.

Just as the last of the congregation was becoming mesmerized, the chain on
the watch broke and the watch hit the lectern with a loud thud and springs
and parts flew everywhere.

"Crap!" exclaimed the pastor.

It took them a week to clean up the church.

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