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TEN WORDS THAT DON'T EXIST BUT SHOULD

 1.  AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn
      the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.

 2.  CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming,
      of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over
      and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum
      one more chance.

 3.  DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of confection (lolly)
      you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove'
      all the germs.

 4.  ELBONICS (el bon'iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one
      armrest in a movie theater.

 5.  FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust
      pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give
      up and sweep it under the rug.

 6.  LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open
      here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.

 7.  PEPPIER (peph ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose
      seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh ground pepper.

 8.  PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting
      whom you were calling just as they answer.

 9.  PUPKUS (pup'kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its
      nose to it.

10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone
      ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.


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